The heavens are telling me that I should not be making carb-loaded bread. So I think I'm finally going to stop fighting it.
But look at this lusciousness and imagine it piping hot, crispy crust, soft and moist inside...dripping with butter or lathered in cheese. OMG!
Let me fill you in on my freaking bread maker saga. I buy a bread maker at the Salvation Army in Clifton Park, NY for $3.99. The plastic is still on it and it's pristinely clean, so I'm thinking it's nearly new.
I get it home, wash it, throw in the ingredients, and get it fired up. I watch it closely and closely and closely. It makes noise, but not a damn thing happens. Failed batch #1.
After some research, I discover that this little paddle is missing. I order one from Amazon for $7.99 and $7.99 shipping (rip off!). But I'm still feeling good about reusing this existing appliance and the price is still a deal.
The paddle arrives, I enthusiastically throw another batch of ingredients, start the beast. It makes noise, but AGAIN nothing freaking happens. Failed batch #2.
Now I think that the yeast I'm using is bad. So I head out and buy this expensive, speciality bread maker yeast.
Yet another batch, including the new yeast, is in the bread maker. Sounds promising. But na da...nothing. Crap. Failed batch #3.
I head to the Internet, again, and discover that the belts on these breadmakers burn out frequently. Hubs and I open up this beatch and discover that, indeed, there is no belt.
I order up a belt from Amazon at another $7.99 for the belt and $7.99 for the shipping (same rip-off vendor...I'm beginning to think they're back in their warehouse laughing at all us fools).
Gang, I am $35.95 in at this stage. And I learn through the Amazon "suggested products" pop-up that I could have bought a brand new bread maker for about $50. !@#$)*!@%&%&)!%! Thanks for that little bit of enlightenment, Amazon!
But I am not broken. I have high hopes now that I have replaced the two moving parts on this contraption.
I take a deep breath and drink a big slug of wine.
Put another batch of ingredients in the bread maker.
It's stirring (yeah!) and it's making what I think are the right noises.
BUT THE SHIT DOESN'T WORK! I end up with a lump of warm, not fully stirred ingredients. Failed batch #4.
I'm all for reusing and recycling, but that pile of scrap is going to the landfill. Before that fateful trip, I'd like to uncork on it the way that the nerds in Office Space smash the printer!
Bread with a bread maker? Come on now. ;) To get a loaf like the one you show at the top of your post you need to do it by hand. Try the No Knead bread or Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day. Both recipes are on the net and super simple. I'm loving the Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day because after the dough rises, you refrigerate it and pull of hunks as needed.
There's a picture of a loaf I baked on my blog. It's easy peasy.
Posted by: Jennifer | March 25, 2010 at 10:12